Monday, March 5, 2012

A Tale Of False Advertisement

In todays misadventures, the Cardinal house was in true Monday form.  Children and parents alike coming down from the weekend.  Monday night bedtime is particularly a fun time.  That is when the epic battles of trying to get a 7 year old and a preteen to take a bath occur.  A word to the wise, never tell a preteen girl that she needs to take a bath because she stinks.  Trust be you don't want to know what the outcome of that will be! 

In typical Cardinal children fashion, Little Miss and Mr. Man were playing ruler of the bathroom sink also known as fighting over who would get to brush their teeth first.  I tried to do what any normal stay at home mom whose husband works nights does.  I promptly turned up the volume on the TV and ignored the chaos going.  I figure they were both still alive so I didn't need to intervene.  Besides all the "experts" say it's good for kids to work things out amongst themselves and being the good mom that I am, I chose to follow the "experts".  

Let me tell you there is nothing the like sound of a crash and a screaming child to make you wanna smack the "experts" with very books they have written!  It was very apparent that it was kung fu mama time and I needed to whip some young grasshoppers into bedtime shape!  Why is it that when the kids see mom approaching they both need to speak all at once or on the rare occasions they do let each other get a word in, they speak faster than an auctioneer?  Parents of only children will know all about this last one.  I being an only child for all of my childhood and most of my adult life, remember speaking that fast when trouble was amiss.

Children were screeching at me and of course the dog picks that moment to need to go outside and the two fatty cats start yowling for more water.  So I closed my eyes, clicked my heels 3 times for good measure and cried out rather loudly as only I could, that one simple phrase that mom's have been calling out for years.  Not "Lord Jesus Help Me!"  though looking back, calling for him would have been more reliable.  "CALGON TAKE ME AWAY"  amazingly a brief moment of stillness came over me.  I opened my eyes and realized that I had merely yelled loud enough to drown out the sounds of my children's tirade.

After promptly marching Frick and Frack up to bed I sat down at my computer I wanted to find the creators of Calgon and berate them for the false hope they bring to mothers daily.  I watched an old Calgon commercial on Youtube.  I saw how the tired and frazzled housewife  found herself in a luxurious bath after Crying out for Calgon to rescue her from the chaos.  I am sure when that first commercial hit, mother across the nation were cheering in delight that there was finally an instant escape to the pressures of life that are bestowed upon us daily.  What a let down it must have been for those mothers that viewed those first commercials.

So now here I sit blogging to you all in blog reader land with a letter ready to send to Calgon saved on my computer.  Do I dare send it and create another misadventure for myself?

What do you think?

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